I have a lifx white 800 and it doesn't connect to the cloud, effectively rendering all useful feature of the bulb broken. This according to lifx support is because I have a bt router - the main broadband supplier in the U.K. Lifx say its a bt problem, but I'm not convinced as I've opened ports and placed the bulb in the dmz. So my advice is don't buy a lifx bulb if you have bt broadband. I hope the situation changes in the future.
My apologies you have had these issues. I'll be honest and say I have absolutely no past experience with Lifx, so I cannot really give you too much advice with this one. I would have been of the same mindset as yourself though - usually to get equipment working with our routers all you need to do is open the relevant ports. If this hasn't worked and we can see the ports are open then we would always suggest that perhaps it would be the third party equipment causing the issu. If you have opened the ports and if you and prove that they are open via pinging through them, I would suggest going back to Lifx to try and get some movement with this one.
All the best with this!